Unexpected Talents
by SocklessxinxSeattle
Summary: Phil Coulson should never have walked into that room, he would never be able to unsee what he had seen in there. On the other hand it did make excellent blackmail material


**Warnings: extreme OOCness (I'm sorry) and mild swearing. Avengers does not belong to me**

* * *

The pencil glided along her eyelid, touch as soft as a butterfly's wing. Natasha wriggled in her seat and twitched her eye, smirking at the loud curses that soon followed

"God damn it Nat! I tell you to stay absolutely still for five measly seconds and what do you do? You move on me! Now I'm going to have to wipe it off, and start all over again."

Clint Barton crossed his arms and frowned at his friend's smug look.

"And people say I'm the immature one"

Natasha said nothing and stared straight ahead, not one muscle moving. But the suggestion of a smile lurked around the corner of her lip. Clint sighed, grabbed the cotton ball off the side table and started wiping up the eyeliner he smeared, muttering Russian swears that Natasha had seen fit to teach him under his breath.

"I don't think that's anatomically possible." Both agents turned quickly towards the door, disturbed at being caught off guard so easily. Agent Phil Coulson quirked an eyebrow from the threshold. The two relaxed their stances but still continued to warily study him. Even though he showed no other emotion, Clint and Natasha knew him well enough to detect the surprise hidden in his eyes.

Granted, it was a strange scene he had walked into. Natasha sitting on a stool in her elegant black slit dress, straight backed and calm, while Clint hovered above her, _applying makeup_ next to a table crammed with lipsticks, eyeliners, blushes, mascara, every beauty product imaginable. The only point of chaos in an otherwise Spartan room.

Clint was the first one to break the silence "She's the honeypot this mission, but she's hopeless at putting on makeup" he smiled crookedly, as if to say how silly he thought that was.

Natasha glared at him "I'm not that bad, you're just fussy"

Coulson cleared his throat purposefully and directed his gaze towards Clint, who to his credit did not even flinch. "And where did _you_ find the time to learn? I don't remember this being in your records"

Clint twirled the pencil in his hand and shifted his weight to one hip "I took a job as a makeup artist in a department store, after well...you know. That's how I got all of this." his hand wave took in the makeup filled table. "They seemed to think that instead of giving me bonuses for a job well done, they could just give me free makeup" He turned back to Natasha and studied her critically. "Now if you excuse me, I should really get back to this, her face looks lopsided and it's annoying me." Natasha made a face at him, but he ignored it

On the outside Agent Coulson remained as stoic as ever, but inwardly he rolled his eyes. Just when he thought the archer couldn't get any weirder. On his way out of the door, he heard Clint call him.

"Yes Barton?"

"You won't tell any of the junior agents about this will you? They don't need more ammo"

Coulson sniffed and looked back, Clint was too concentrated on Natasha's face to look at him, but he could see the pink tipping his ears "Maybe if you stopped dropping down from the ceiling at inopportune times in order to scare them you wouldn't have this problem."

Clint's smile spoke of mischief and mayhem as he began reapplying the eyeliner "What? That's quality training I'm giving them, they need to be ready for anything."

This time Coulson actually did roll his eyes as he continued walking out of the room, but a fond smile somehow found its way to his lips. Natasha saw it and grinned wickedly at him, earning her the wrath of Clint as she messed up her fucking makeup _again_.

.oOo.

Half an hour later, the two agents stopped by the meeting room to _rendez-vous_ with Coulson and collect their headsets. Heads turned as they walked past and a lot of covert wolf whistling followed in their wake. Coulson had to admit, Natasha did look particularly stunning, of course that was part of the job, but still. What he was most astonished by though was her immaculate makeup. He really shouldn't have felt as surprised as he did, but it was _Barton _who applied it. He thought he would have at least made her look like a clown as a joke. But if there was one thing he kept forgetting about the archer, it was that he always took his job seriously.

Clint caught him studying her. "Didn't I do a awesome job? Nat has a nice facial structure though, so it wasn't that hard, not compared to some of the _other_ women I've done. All I had to do was her eyebrows, eyelids, and lips. You know, frame her face." He drew out a rectangle shape with his hands to demonstrate what he meant, the look in his eyes so convicted and excited that it caused some of the techies to back away a few inches with unsure looks on their faces.

He was suddenly jerked forward by Natasha so she could properly tie his tie and straighten his jacket while Coulson told the techie leader that _no_ he didn't want the bulky headsets, he didn't care how much better range they got. This was a _covert_ operation, and they sure as hell couldn't stay undercover if they had big black headsets sticking out of their ear.

Once he had gotten the small bugs he had wanted in the first place, Coulson gave two to Natasha and Clint to put on their collar (or strap in Natasha's case), and eased on his own bulky headset so he could hear them. Opening his laptop, he pulled up a screen that showed the location of the GPS chips buried under his two agents' skin. He gave them the signal to move out.

Clint tried to loosen his tie and mimed choking but stopped when Natasha hit him. They both picked up their guns (a bow would have been to obvious in this instance, much to Clint's displeasure) and hid them in various locations on their bodies. The techies shielded their eyes. Then Clint stuck his elbow out and leaned jauntily in Natasha's direction "M'lady"

She daintily laid her hand on his arm "Don't embarrass me"

They were just about to leave the room when Clint twisted around "Hey sir, what were you doing in my bedroom anyway?" A grin split his face for a brief second before he turned back around and the two disappeared through the door.

Coulson slumped on the table and rubbed his temples. They didn't pay him enough

His headset crackled to life. "Well? Are you going to answer my question?

"Maintain radio silence Barton"

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**I'm sorry for this, I learned somewhere that Jeremy Renner used to be a makeup artist and that instantly became my headcannon for Hawkeye. Anyway, this is my first foray into the Avenger's fandom so all of the characters are extremely OOC**


End file.
